The Academy is challenging, but most goals worth having don't get handed to you on a silver platter. The dreams you work hard for will reap the finest rewards. I have never had an experience quite like dating someone in a police academy, especially one as regimented as the California Highway Patrol. However, it is apparent that there are an array of different individuals in each class. While they may have been selected for their morale, discipline, motivation, and courage that will make them a superlative peace officer - the ability and desire of each to balance home life and work may vary. You also have to remember that during and after the Academy, they are employed. It is a job. I absolutely respect and admire the women who had children during the Academy and truly respect you for your independence, strength and sacrifice during that time. I haven't said this before, but I do realize that my experience as "just a girlfriend" without children did not have some the same challenges that women with a family had to endure. However, I believe I can offer a different perspective that may be of value. I love business and pride myself in my own career development and growth. I work hard at the office, and occasionally bring my work home. Most days, I am working 12+ hours away from home. I am confident that some women with a significant other in the Academy also balanced a family and a full time job - I bow to you for that. The point I am making, is that success at any job requires time and effort. Be supportive of that and recognize that motivation is likely part of the reason you fell for your officer (to-be) in the first place.
The Academy and FTO period take resiliency, and effort. Unlike some jobs where 'Joe' can sit back while others pick up the slack, the CHP holds its employees to a standard or excellence and responsibility. The Academy can be intimidating for someone on the sidelines because these men and women are expected to give it everything they've got. That kind of devotion and passion to achieve a goal doesn't occur often in life and it is a sight to see in a person. Suddenly, priorities shift. However, the 'refection' goes both ways. Provide your support, store your worries away and fight for that dream together. That is the key to finding balance. I supported Kev and in return, he worked his butt off and I heard from him every singly day. He never missed a phone call home amidst all the other ways he made me feel special and loved. On the other hand, he told me about some of his classmates who genuinely needed more time to study, needed more sleep, or were just plain stressed out and couldn't call home that night. The individual will shape the experience you have, not the circumstances. Be understanding and patient. If you are confident you are with the right person, it is all worth it.
Since graduation, life has been amazing and for the record, nothing like the Academy. We are together again - he lives at home, not in Sacramento. He also isn't stressed out with studying and homework anymore. We breezed through two season of Dexter in two weeks last month if that helps shed some light on our time together. Now that we are on graveyards, we miss each other some days entirely but our kitty is sure happy to have someone home at all hours of the day - for those of you with a family, kitty can be subbed for kids ;) We leave notes for each other around the house and get excited to hurry home and see each other on off days. Sometimes Kev has report writing to do, but it gets done. He writes, I cook dinner or I'm at work when he is catching up on reports. It works out. I haven't seen Kev since Monday morning actually. I absolutely miss him and our Dexter marathon is temporarily on hold, but he is off tonight and I can't wait to get home, make dinner, and cuddle him all night. The Academy left us with a great story to tell and life has been great since. To sum it up, life now is exciting, meaningful, fun, and absolutely different. It is a whole new world but back to as normal as it can be. It may be a lifestyle that requires a little adjustment, but it isn't one to fear a future with.
"No one can create negativity or stress within you, only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world." - Wayne Dyer
- Mimi
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