Everyday I kiss Kev goodbye in the morning and tell him "I love you, be safe" and every time he texts me that he is off work, I ask him "catch any criminals?" The answer is always no. Ive heard that some of the other Officers from Kev's class have had at least one exciting moment, but not us. Well, Kev thinks every moment is pretty exciting but I guess I'm hoping for a story more similar to an episode of Cops ;) On the other hand, a boring day is a safe day.
We have a great routine going right now. I used to stay up until midnight, but now I'm going to bed with Kev by 9:30pm. It actually feels great to get more rest. Kev wakes up around 2:30am and starts getting ready for work. I do wake up a little when he initially gets out of bed but now I fall right back asleep. When we first began this schedule, I would be restless the whole time he was getting ready, so I'm really glad I finally figured it out. Kitty too! The days of meowing and sprinting laps around the house when Kev wakes up are over. After he is done getting ready, he comes back in the bedroom to give me a kiss and hug good-bye. If he has a break during his shift later in the day, he'll send me a quick text just to let me know he is okay - he learned his lesson when I didn't hear from him the other day ;) I know he's busy while on shift, so usually it's just an emoji or "I love you so much" - short, simple, but all I need! Then before you know it, I'll get a text around 3:30pm that he is heading home for the day. When I get home around 7pm, there he is waiting for me! I want to give all this detail around timing because I remember questioning what FTO would be like when Kev was getting ready to graduate the Academy. They only tell you so much and the unknown is what can sometimes cause the most stress on the relationship. So far, phase one has been really convenient and fairly normal for us. We see each other all the time! Every once in a while we even make plans to hang out with our friends without each other, especially now that we aren't counting down the hours until he has to leave for a week. That's something we never really did during the Academy days. Simply knowing we both get to come home to the same place now at the end of the day brings so much peace and ease to our lives.
So, now we're gearing up for October when Kev starts graveyard shift! This is our last week of day shift. We really were blessed with an amazing schedule that left us with a lot of time together right out of the Academy. Realistically, I know I'm going to be seeing Kev a lot less this phase. I was talking to another CTC 1-16 girlfriend I know and she said her boyfriend is switching to graves too. We are both unsure about what to expect but we're remaining optimistic. It is great to have another Chippy girlfriend to talk to, she just gets it and she has a positive attitude too. The people you surround yourself with really make all the difference. If you notice someone that you're confiding in is a pessimist, I'd do yourself a favor and steer away from any unnecessary bad energy. Anyways, the night shift will likely be a lot different than day shift, so hopefully the stories will be more interesting too. Maybe I'll get one "Cops" episode story out of Kev. Is it bad that I really want him to hook a DUI, find pounds of drugs, deliver a baby in the font seat of a car, or save a kitten from the fast lane?! Is it so much to ask for one good story that doesn't involve an expired registration. Well, I guess we have 30 more years to find out ;) Until then, graveyard shift should be interesting. So, I just plan to remain flexible and make it work. We will re-adjust to this new schedule and figure out what works best for us. I'm curious how Kev will work out sleeping and eating when he plans to be up all night. Eat at night, sleep during the day I guess. I'm planning to prepare meals ahead for him too. Maybe breakfast burritos for him to heat up, bbq chicken, or taco cups which he loves and are also easy to grab and go (place won ton wrappers in a cupcake pan, cook up some ground turkey and peppers, fill the cups and bake until crispy - easy, low cal, and tasty!). Maybe I'll do a future post on some of our favorite quick and healthy meals great for a peace officer on the go? If you have any recipes, I'm all ears too!
I'm definitely going to miss Kev around the house at night but it will be fun to revert back to leaving love notes for each other like when he was in the Academy. Missing each other throughout the day leaves us with the opportunity to do a lot of little surprises next month too :) I'd be lying if I said "I'm looking forward to it" but we sure will make the MOST of it!
- Mimi
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Monday, September 26, 2016
Composure & Dignity of Manner
I take BART mass transit everyday to work in San Francisco and I thought that was a true test of patience. Then, I discovered life with a LEO.
I've always really liked the police. The profession is exciting and it's one we all grow up knowing. When you ask a child, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Coupled with the response of "a firefighter, a doctor, a pilot," you will likely also hear "a police officer." At least, that's what I remember.
Social media. Not all of our friends and acquaintances know what Kev does for a living. Sometimes a mindless scroll can turn pretty frustrating and disappointing, but we know it isn't worth our breathe. I've certainly voluntarily and silently deleted a few friends but never openly countered their contrasting opinions. Our new favorite word this week is "poise" - composure and dignity of manner.
After graduating, Kev bought me one of the CHP necklaces with his badge number on it. It's beautiful and means so much to me because I know how hard he worked for his badge. He says it's my little badge I earned for staying by his side and supporting him. I love it, but a couple days later I went out and bought a longer chain for it. I showed him and told him that if I plan to wear it every day, it might be better if I'm able to tuck it occasionally. He agreed and has reminded me a few times to tuck it in when I leave the house. I'm by no means ashamed and wear it proudly everyday. It breaks my heart to ever have to hide something that we are both so proud of. Sometimes it just isn't worth the attention though.
Kev and I also attended a wedding this weekend. We had a great time celebrating the marriage of one of my oldest friends and her now, husband. A few of the girls at the wedding knew about Kev and congratulated him on graduating the Academy. Some of them also have family in Law Enforcement so they could truly appreciate the accomplishment. Kev gets so excited to share his story with close friends who value the noble role of an officer. He was proud to share with them some of his story before we all made it out to the dance floor for the rest of the night. We had such a fun night! At the end of the evening, we loaded onto the shuttle bus to head back home. The bus was full and there were a few boisterous people on board, typical at the end of a wedding. We were tired, resting our eyes, but listening to everyone laugh and talk about what a great evening we all had. Then the mood shifted when people decided to sing on the microphone and eventually someone suggested the Pledge of Allegiance. Of course, due to recent events this brought a plethora of political banter amongst a few people in the group. Then someone yelled, "fuck the police". I looked over at Kev and his eyes were still closed but I knew we both heard it. We had actually met that guy earlier in the night. We didn't share Kev's occupation with him but chatted about our mutual relationship with the bride. Deep inside I wanted so badly to say something. Not to curse back at him but to tell him about our story, our journey, our life, and who we are as people. Everything he doesn't understand when he says that. To tell him about when we first heard that Officer Nathan Taylor died on duty - the first time I heard of an officer passing while Kev was training to become one. Or that the first week Kev got to wear his badge, he came home with a black ribbon on it because an officer was shot on duty. Or tell him to read my blog, or the other blogs out there of people who kiss their loved ones good bye each day so that they can be peace keepers and allow the rest of us to sleep soundly at night. Or the blogs of those who already gave their last kiss. I was angry and frustrated, but I was also sad that Kev had to hear it. I can only imagine what it's like to work so hard for something and have to keep it a secret or endure shaming for it. We sat in our seats on the bus quietly until we got home. We didn't talk about it, we didn't have to.
There is no perfect group of people in the world. No culture, religion, ethnic background, or profession is made up of entirely virtuous, ethical, exemplary individuals. We can't assume that the thoughts, actions, or beliefs of one individual are promulgated amongst the entire group. Continued evolution of peace, unity, and strength as a nation depends on our ability to learn and grow from a specific incident and to address the actions of the individual rather than draw an encompassing conclusion about a specific group based on that person's controversial actions. Ultimately, we need the police. It isn't an occupation for the faint-hearted, but continued degradation won't rectify anything. I don't know the answer, but history has taught us that hate isn't it.
- Mimi
I've always really liked the police. The profession is exciting and it's one we all grow up knowing. When you ask a child, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Coupled with the response of "a firefighter, a doctor, a pilot," you will likely also hear "a police officer." At least, that's what I remember.
Social media. Not all of our friends and acquaintances know what Kev does for a living. Sometimes a mindless scroll can turn pretty frustrating and disappointing, but we know it isn't worth our breathe. I've certainly voluntarily and silently deleted a few friends but never openly countered their contrasting opinions. Our new favorite word this week is "poise" - composure and dignity of manner.
After graduating, Kev bought me one of the CHP necklaces with his badge number on it. It's beautiful and means so much to me because I know how hard he worked for his badge. He says it's my little badge I earned for staying by his side and supporting him. I love it, but a couple days later I went out and bought a longer chain for it. I showed him and told him that if I plan to wear it every day, it might be better if I'm able to tuck it occasionally. He agreed and has reminded me a few times to tuck it in when I leave the house. I'm by no means ashamed and wear it proudly everyday. It breaks my heart to ever have to hide something that we are both so proud of. Sometimes it just isn't worth the attention though.
Kev and I also attended a wedding this weekend. We had a great time celebrating the marriage of one of my oldest friends and her now, husband. A few of the girls at the wedding knew about Kev and congratulated him on graduating the Academy. Some of them also have family in Law Enforcement so they could truly appreciate the accomplishment. Kev gets so excited to share his story with close friends who value the noble role of an officer. He was proud to share with them some of his story before we all made it out to the dance floor for the rest of the night. We had such a fun night! At the end of the evening, we loaded onto the shuttle bus to head back home. The bus was full and there were a few boisterous people on board, typical at the end of a wedding. We were tired, resting our eyes, but listening to everyone laugh and talk about what a great evening we all had. Then the mood shifted when people decided to sing on the microphone and eventually someone suggested the Pledge of Allegiance. Of course, due to recent events this brought a plethora of political banter amongst a few people in the group. Then someone yelled, "fuck the police". I looked over at Kev and his eyes were still closed but I knew we both heard it. We had actually met that guy earlier in the night. We didn't share Kev's occupation with him but chatted about our mutual relationship with the bride. Deep inside I wanted so badly to say something. Not to curse back at him but to tell him about our story, our journey, our life, and who we are as people. Everything he doesn't understand when he says that. To tell him about when we first heard that Officer Nathan Taylor died on duty - the first time I heard of an officer passing while Kev was training to become one. Or that the first week Kev got to wear his badge, he came home with a black ribbon on it because an officer was shot on duty. Or tell him to read my blog, or the other blogs out there of people who kiss their loved ones good bye each day so that they can be peace keepers and allow the rest of us to sleep soundly at night. Or the blogs of those who already gave their last kiss. I was angry and frustrated, but I was also sad that Kev had to hear it. I can only imagine what it's like to work so hard for something and have to keep it a secret or endure shaming for it. We sat in our seats on the bus quietly until we got home. We didn't talk about it, we didn't have to.
There is no perfect group of people in the world. No culture, religion, ethnic background, or profession is made up of entirely virtuous, ethical, exemplary individuals. We can't assume that the thoughts, actions, or beliefs of one individual are promulgated amongst the entire group. Continued evolution of peace, unity, and strength as a nation depends on our ability to learn and grow from a specific incident and to address the actions of the individual rather than draw an encompassing conclusion about a specific group based on that person's controversial actions. Ultimately, we need the police. It isn't an occupation for the faint-hearted, but continued degradation won't rectify anything. I don't know the answer, but history has taught us that hate isn't it.
- Mimi
Switching to Graves
Well we knew it was coming! Kev received his schedule for the second phase of FTO and is switching to nights. Next month he will be working 8PM to 6AM, Tuesday - Friday. Once again, we are blessed and grateful for weekends together! It's about a 40 minute drive to his area office and he usually likes to get there at least an hour early. In that case, I'm guessing he will have to leave the house around 6PM and get home between 7-8PM. I usually leave the house around 7AM and get home by 7PM. So, we are preparing to entirely miss each other at the house during the week. I'm definitely going to miss him! I'm guessing the stories will be a little more exciting next month though. Kev really hasn't had too much action yet and now he is scheduled to work the Friday night before Halloween, so he is really excited for that. Word to the wise, don't drink and drive. #1 it's dangerous and risks your life and the lives of those around you #2. There are 100 new officers from CTC 1-16 and other classes spread across the state itching for their first DUI arrest!
Stay tuned for how graveyard shifts go! :)
- Mimi
Stay tuned for how graveyard shifts go! :)
- Mimi
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Sometimes, I remember he's a cop.
I typically try to shed light on the positive and to not be another attribution to the worry and stress that trails the badge. That's the truth too, it certainly isn't a detrimental experience from what little we know of it. If anything, life is better now than ever.
I always tell Kev, "sometimes I forget you're a cop, it doesn't feel like you are." As if it should feel like something? I never see him in his uniform, and I see him now more than ever. The only real difference in my life is a gun in the home and a few tan CHP shirts and pants hanging in the closet. The same uniforms that Kev and his roommates would sneak pics of to their girls when they were cadets and finally able to try them on for a fitting. Now they are hanging in our closet, but it still doesn't feel like he's a cop.
Sometimes I'm reminded though. Kev kissed me goodbye and left the house for work this morning around 3 AM. I slept for a couple more hours before turning on the news and getting ready for work. I watch the news religiously and I'm pretty well aware of national events, including those involving the police. Watching the news used to be a relaxing, habitual way to wake up but these days I absorb it a little differently and perhaps more personally now. I sent Kev a text and told him I love him and to be safe today. I also asked him to send me a quick text at some point during his shift today, just so I know he is okay. I guess I always expected to date and marry a business man. Someone in a suit, safe behind the screen of their Macbook and city view from a few stories up. I sure found the perfect man, but he wears duty boots, a bullet proof vest and a badge. I'm glad he keeps the riot helmet in his locker at work, because looking at that can make your stomach sink a little. It's after 3 PM now and I still haven't heard from him yet today.
Sometimes I guess I do know what it feels like. Sometimes, I remember he's a cop.
- Mimi
I always tell Kev, "sometimes I forget you're a cop, it doesn't feel like you are." As if it should feel like something? I never see him in his uniform, and I see him now more than ever. The only real difference in my life is a gun in the home and a few tan CHP shirts and pants hanging in the closet. The same uniforms that Kev and his roommates would sneak pics of to their girls when they were cadets and finally able to try them on for a fitting. Now they are hanging in our closet, but it still doesn't feel like he's a cop.
Sometimes I'm reminded though. Kev kissed me goodbye and left the house for work this morning around 3 AM. I slept for a couple more hours before turning on the news and getting ready for work. I watch the news religiously and I'm pretty well aware of national events, including those involving the police. Watching the news used to be a relaxing, habitual way to wake up but these days I absorb it a little differently and perhaps more personally now. I sent Kev a text and told him I love him and to be safe today. I also asked him to send me a quick text at some point during his shift today, just so I know he is okay. I guess I always expected to date and marry a business man. Someone in a suit, safe behind the screen of their Macbook and city view from a few stories up. I sure found the perfect man, but he wears duty boots, a bullet proof vest and a badge. I'm glad he keeps the riot helmet in his locker at work, because looking at that can make your stomach sink a little. It's after 3 PM now and I still haven't heard from him yet today.
Sometimes I guess I do know what it feels like. Sometimes, I remember he's a cop.
- Mimi
Thursday, September 15, 2016
Cop Books & Blogs - It doesn't rain all year
So, here I am learning to be an Officer's girlfriend. While we have this great schedule and finally a lot of time together, I'm learning a lot. I certainly don't know everything and time may change my outlook, but I think it's important for us to hold onto our early lessons learned.
My first lesson is about immediately referencing what I have read about cops and applying it to my cop - directly correlating blogs to Academy life and cop books to your new home life. If you're doing your own reading to prepare yourself along the way, hang on to the applicable and store the other knowledge for a rainy day, because that rainy day isn't necessarily today. I've noticed as I've done my own reading and research to be the best support system my Chippy can possibly have, that sometimes I'll refer to my reading as the only possible reasoning to the moment we are experiencing. It took me a little time to realize what I was doing but eventually I took notice. I would literally pause my mind in that moment and reference a book or article I read about cops, rather than everything I've gathered through personal experience with my boyfriend and best-friend. I have to remember that I already know him as a person, I just don't know his job. Rather than completely setting aside the ways I've learned to interact with him, reason with him and love him in the unique ways that work for us, I had been solely alluding to points in books or articles in an effort to reach a resolve.
My first lesson is about immediately referencing what I have read about cops and applying it to my cop - directly correlating blogs to Academy life and cop books to your new home life. If you're doing your own reading to prepare yourself along the way, hang on to the applicable and store the other knowledge for a rainy day, because that rainy day isn't necessarily today. I've noticed as I've done my own reading and research to be the best support system my Chippy can possibly have, that sometimes I'll refer to my reading as the only possible reasoning to the moment we are experiencing. It took me a little time to realize what I was doing but eventually I took notice. I would literally pause my mind in that moment and reference a book or article I read about cops, rather than everything I've gathered through personal experience with my boyfriend and best-friend. I have to remember that I already know him as a person, I just don't know his job. Rather than completely setting aside the ways I've learned to interact with him, reason with him and love him in the unique ways that work for us, I had been solely alluding to points in books or articles in an effort to reach a resolve.
I certainly believe that reading books about being in a relationship with a cop and the emotional and mental changes they endure through the life cycle of their career has been beneficial to my understanding of this lifestyle and our future. I also believe it helps protect us from the cynical attitude that cops are considered destined to develop, because we might notice potentially detrimental changes before they have the opportunity to evolve further. However, I also think it's important to find balance and to mesh what you know about him as an individual with what you are learning about him as a cop. For example, the other day Kev was laying on the bed while I was getting ready. We had the television on and I was chatting to him for a bit when I inadvertently slipped in a question. No response. Are you freakin' kidding me? Because, according to chapter 3, page 38 of the book I'm reading he is clearly detached, only thinking about work and entirely tuning me out. He no longer cares about my average life as an accountant, my cat, or that I'm getting a root touch up and high-lights two Wednesdays from today.
Stop.
He cares. But, I love to talk! Am I just talking out loud to my best friend in the room or do I genuinely care about the conversation? I'll be the first to admit, sometimes I just chit chat with Kev about nothing. Just because I throw in a question every once in a while and he doesn't respond, doesn't mean he doesn't listen to me or care. He knows every aspect of my job, the name of everyone I work with, all my friends, he listens when I'm mad and knows just what to say when I'm upset. He knows the way I like my coffee and tells me I'm beautiful even when I'm in sweat pants, no makeup and my hair is up in a messy bun. I'm everything to him. It's not that he can't relate to me, doesn't care or doesn't want to be there. Maybe he is just tired and recognized that it wasn't a serious conversation. Pick your battles and don't be so quick to blame the job. Instead of getting mad, I jumped on Kev in bed and playfully told him to pay attention to me. He sat up, listened and pulled me in for kisses. Instead of addressing a chapter, try to address your man based on what you know about him. Use the books as a reference for a rainy day, but remember that it doesn't rain all year.
-Mimi
-Mimi
Friday, September 9, 2016
One Month Later - FTO Phase 1
Hi!
Well, life is normal again and going great! If your loved one is in the next graduating class and you're sitting around wondering what life after the Academy will be like, it is so much better than the last six months!
We have been living in our new place and really enjoying our new life together. The first couple weekends after graduation we unpacked and decorated our new home. We even had a little patio planting day and set up lights outside too. We have been so grateful to spend time together, sleep together every night, and finally find our normalcy again. Well, as normal as the Chippy life can be... I had to remind him to close the blinds when he was cleaning his gun so our neighbors don't think we are assassins, and to be careful with kitty ;)
Wait, weekends? Yes! I know it won't last forever but you can't blame us for being grateful and appreciating Kev's schedule right now. His first month of FTO (Aug-Sept) he is working Tuesday - Friday, 5AM-3:30PM. While that means he wakes up around 2:30AM to get to work an hour early, it means I see him every night after work and every weekend! We had all of Labor Day weekend together, and he even has a 4 day weekend coming up soon.
Weeknights we have been going to bed early and Kev has been doing a little studying and report writing, but nothing quite like the Academy days. He is also learning his 'beats' (highways and exits that are his responsibility to patrol). Other than that, he has written quite a few tickets and says there is a lot to learn. He is doing well but of course has made a couple mistakes too, that's what the FTO process is about. Thankfully, he has a great Field Training Officer for this first phase.
Kev has kept in touch with a few of his classmates and it seems some of them are having it a little harder than us right now with 'swing shifts' for their first phase. Swing shift starts at 12PM and ends at 10:30PM, but a few people have said they don't actually get home until 1AM on those shifts. When I talked to one of the Officer's girlfriend, she said it has been pretty hard on her because they haven't been able to spend much time together. I know Kev and I will have this experience soon too, so we are just enjoying what we have now. Hopefully, these guys will get to enjoy our schedule soon too once this phase is over.
There was definitely an adjustment period for Kev as far as balancing his new work life with housework and me around all the time. At first, he still had a little bit of an Academy mind where work and preparation is everything. He is absolutely finding balance though. It's helped that we have had really open and honest communication with each other too. When something bothers me , I tell him and vice versa. We don't take it personal, we just find a mutual resolve. Other than that, we have been taking turns making dinner, he has made grocery shopping runs before I get home from work, and has completely dived back into home life while still embracing his new role as an Officer!
His first week at the office was primarily re-certifying with his weapons, but now the stories have started. I love hearing his stories! My little accounting life can vicariously live through his but he always asks and cares to hear about my day too ;) As far as being nervous about him on duty.. sometimes I am but most of the time I feel pretty confident that he is capable and has the training he needs to stay safe. In that case, I tell him I love him and to be safe everyday before he leaves, but I try not to dwell on it all day.
Ultimately, he is loving life as an Officer. Every little bit of it. He made a reference to Moses parting the seas when he first held up his hand on the freeway to conduct traffic and people did what he said. On the other hand, he said it's a crazy feeling when people are nervous handing him paperwork or staring at him when he walks in a room, because he is still so new and humble to the situation. I wish I could quote him, but I could never rephrase in such a humorous and unique manner, the way he describes all of these moments.
I am just so proud, we are so happy, life is fun and exciting, and we plan to do everything we can to hang on to the outlook we have at this point in his career.
- Mimi
Well, life is normal again and going great! If your loved one is in the next graduating class and you're sitting around wondering what life after the Academy will be like, it is so much better than the last six months!
We have been living in our new place and really enjoying our new life together. The first couple weekends after graduation we unpacked and decorated our new home. We even had a little patio planting day and set up lights outside too. We have been so grateful to spend time together, sleep together every night, and finally find our normalcy again. Well, as normal as the Chippy life can be... I had to remind him to close the blinds when he was cleaning his gun so our neighbors don't think we are assassins, and to be careful with kitty ;)
 |
| Kev's assistant gun cleaner |
Weeknights we have been going to bed early and Kev has been doing a little studying and report writing, but nothing quite like the Academy days. He is also learning his 'beats' (highways and exits that are his responsibility to patrol). Other than that, he has written quite a few tickets and says there is a lot to learn. He is doing well but of course has made a couple mistakes too, that's what the FTO process is about. Thankfully, he has a great Field Training Officer for this first phase.
Kev has kept in touch with a few of his classmates and it seems some of them are having it a little harder than us right now with 'swing shifts' for their first phase. Swing shift starts at 12PM and ends at 10:30PM, but a few people have said they don't actually get home until 1AM on those shifts. When I talked to one of the Officer's girlfriend, she said it has been pretty hard on her because they haven't been able to spend much time together. I know Kev and I will have this experience soon too, so we are just enjoying what we have now. Hopefully, these guys will get to enjoy our schedule soon too once this phase is over.
There was definitely an adjustment period for Kev as far as balancing his new work life with housework and me around all the time. At first, he still had a little bit of an Academy mind where work and preparation is everything. He is absolutely finding balance though. It's helped that we have had really open and honest communication with each other too. When something bothers me , I tell him and vice versa. We don't take it personal, we just find a mutual resolve. Other than that, we have been taking turns making dinner, he has made grocery shopping runs before I get home from work, and has completely dived back into home life while still embracing his new role as an Officer!
His first week at the office was primarily re-certifying with his weapons, but now the stories have started. I love hearing his stories! My little accounting life can vicariously live through his but he always asks and cares to hear about my day too ;) As far as being nervous about him on duty.. sometimes I am but most of the time I feel pretty confident that he is capable and has the training he needs to stay safe. In that case, I tell him I love him and to be safe everyday before he leaves, but I try not to dwell on it all day.
Ultimately, he is loving life as an Officer. Every little bit of it. He made a reference to Moses parting the seas when he first held up his hand on the freeway to conduct traffic and people did what he said. On the other hand, he said it's a crazy feeling when people are nervous handing him paperwork or staring at him when he walks in a room, because he is still so new and humble to the situation. I wish I could quote him, but I could never rephrase in such a humorous and unique manner, the way he describes all of these moments.
I am just so proud, we are so happy, life is fun and exciting, and we plan to do everything we can to hang on to the outlook we have at this point in his career.
- Mimi
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