2018, The Best Yet!

I can't believe it has been almost a year since I last posted! Here is a little update on our lives - I'm sure from the photo at the bottom you know where this is going! ;)

Kev has officially been an officer for over a year and a half now (two years in August). Time has flown by! He has had every shift now and is currently on swings. However, he has full weekends off -this shift and the next one! We both agreed he would sign up for swings this quarter and graves the next one (July, August, September) so that we could have full weekends together. So far in his career we have been so fortunate that he has never had to work a full weekend - we have at least had split weekends. I also hate to say this, but I am actually excited for him to go back to graves! While I'll of course miss him during the week, I am not a fan of swing shifts! Swings mean I am up until 10:30pm when he texts me that he is on his way home, I wait up until 11:30pm for him to walk in the door, and then he showers and we catch up until 12:00am or 12:30am until we both fall asleep. I wake up at 5:30am for work, while my handsome guy sleeps in. I'll take the graves and the sleep, and he will take the freeways clear of traffic and a little more excitement. Never thought we would say this haha!  The day we see Monday through Thursday day shift will be the day, one day haha! ;)

We've also experienced some of the sadness that comes with his career too and have come to fully understand in the last year why the CHP and law enforcement call themselves a family. Even in tragedy, the love, respect and pride shown by all law enforcement is unlike anything you have ever experienced. You eventually find this sense of love and trust when your Chippy is out working. You're proud. I'll be honest, I didn't love it at first - the constantly changing shifts or the overshadowing of a an exciting highway chase compared to my day of balancing books. However, as you experience more, hear their stories, meet the people they work with, and see the love that reflects back to you, you fully become a part of the family. The stories become a part of your day and you keep the balance. I wouldn't change our lives for a thing!

Time off. Kev has had so much time off! We went to Europe for two and a half weeks in March! We went to four different countries and made amazing memories! And a few weeks after coming home ... Kev proposed!!

I can't wait to marry the love of my life <3 What a journey it has been!

- Mimi

Summertime & the last of day shift

So, maybe I jumped the gun saying we were moving to graves. We are, but it feels like it has been a while since I have written and we have still been enjoying Kev's day shift. July is our last official month of days. Kev is still working Sunday - Wednesday, 5am - 3:30pm. In my opinion a great shift, for us at least. He moves to graves next month, but he will have Friday - Sunday off! As we have been finding out, Thursdays seem to be a desirable day to work because that is 'court day' - essentially, if you have Thursdays off it is most likely you will be spending almost all of them in court. If I can recall correctly, Kev has only had one Thursday off where he wasn't called to court to defend a ticket he wrote. Officers get a minimum pay for court, but when the court time is scheduled for mid-day he ends up sitting in traffic and lapses the minimum by about two or more hours sometimes. So, if you received a ticket and you deserve it, take responsibility and pay it so our hard working officers can have their day off to rest.

What else is new? We are renewing our lease together this month! I remember writing about how I couldn't wait for us to move in together when Kev was in the academy and now, almost a year later we are renewing our lease! That also means that Kev is almost off probation! I can't believe how fast time goes. We are saving to buy a house and I'm hoping one day Kev will put a ring on it! Ha kidding, maybe ;) A couple cadets he graduated with have recently asked their girlfriends to marry them, and that is always an exciting story to hear!A lot of people have transferred out of Kev's office this year too. So much has changed.

I also wanted to note a couple more recent CHP academy blogs that my readers have shared. Now that mine is almost a year old, these lades can definitely bring new perspectives to the table :)

The Journey of a CHP Cadet Wife
http://chpwifeblog2017.blogspot.com

From Coach to Cadet
http://coachtocadet.blogspot.com/ 

Wishing you and yours all the best!

- Mimi

Back to Graves!

Maybe I shouldn't have said anything so soon and continued to basque in the glory of day shift and split weekends. It isn't so bad, but Kev is moving back to graves in August. He did ultimately get to make the decision based on what was available and took it because it will give him Friday through Sunday off! That means we can actually do something on weekends :) While he has had split weekends since April, we have actually only had two or three Saturdays together (mind you, it's mid-May). He keeps getting scheduled Saturdays to accommodate other officers taking vacation and not enough to cover. It's a bit of a bummer, but since he would have to work Sunday we can't really go out too late on Saturday's anyhow and a day trip would leave him pretty beat for the next day. We are typically in bed between 9 and 10 PM at the latest.

We still see each other a lot and our work out routine is great right now too. Kev has really bulked up and following I'm his lead, I've leaned out a bit too. He is the best motivator without losing his sweet charm. We are eating really healthy and hitting the gym at least 5 days a week. We have been meal prepping too, so Kev is eating more throughout the day. He went from about 180 in the academy to a little over 200 now. A lean 200, he looks great. It took him a while to get used to eating while on the road. Now he packs his 6 Pack bag with a couple small, high protein meals. Before, he maybe brought a PB&J and wouldn't even eat it. Interestingly enough, our eating and workout schedule was probably the hardest thing to figure out with his job and the limited time we have together in the evenings before he has to get back to sleep. It will be another adjustment for us both when he moves back to nights. I know he won't want to lose his progress, so we will see how it goes. I'll miss my workout partner after work, but it will only be for a couple of months.

Kev has also had a few court dates for 'customers' disputing his tickets. He hates court because it's scheduled on his days off. It's a flat 4 hours pay, but it usually takes him at least half a day from the time he jumps in the shower to the time he walks back in the door. Especially when it's scheduled in the afternoon and he sits in traffic coming home. It's a bummer to waste his rest day for someone banking on him to not show up because they drove solo in the carpool lane or were caught speeding.

He has had some great stories lately too, but unfortunately I can't share. I can usually tell the type of day he had as soon as he walks in - if he is amped up and excited, something new happened and I probably don't want to know about it! If he is mellow, it was a boring day and if he was tired it was a busy day. He did have his first puppy chase though, two Chihuahuas on the shoulder of the highway. They took an exit and evaded him on city streets though ;)

We are also about to have our first (and only) vacation this year together! Kev only signed up for one week but has accrued much more than that. He just wants to save it - for a honeymoon he tells me. Pretty sure he is trained to de-escalate a situation, so I'm not sure if this is a tactical move on me so I don't verbally aggress him for not enough vacation time together or because he really has future plans and wants to save his time off. Fingers crossed for the later!

- Mimi

Chippy life in 2017!

Hi!

I thought I would do a quick update on life lately. I took a look at the blog recently and saw there were still a lot of readers, so I thought I would share how things are going today! Our lives have still been chugging along since Kev took the patrol car out for the first time around the holidays and we have both been doing great! Here is a bit about how we have been doing :)

Kev has had all day shifts since he completed FTO! If you read along before, you know he only had graves for one period of FTO and he still hasn't had to have swing shifts yet. The office he is in is amazing! Every three months the schedule changes, as I believe it does in every office. The more senior officers make their selection and then Kev is up. In his particular office, everything seems to be fair game by the time it gets to us - days, swings, and graves. When we're up, Kev takes a picture of the open slots and shows me our options. I reallyyyy appreciate that he does this. Since he is still fairly new and trying not to ask to switch shifts too often, it helps when I'm able to take part in picking our schedule since it has such a heavy impact on me as well. When we pick together, it creates a little more understanding between us when we can't do something because of his obligation to a shift.

We just switched schedules again and Kev now has Thursday, Friday, and Saturday off! For anyone else who might also be in their probation period, you likely know how exciting it is to have a split weekend. For those reading to know what to expect, the academy separation anxiety will slowly melt away and even if you don't get weekends together, the feeling of time apart is back to normal, short-lived, and no where close to weeks away from each other like during the academy. Even though most of Kev's schedules have left us without a full day together during the week, day shift leaves us plenty of time together in the evening to go to the gym, cook dinner or even watch a movie. He is used to the job now too, and isn't as exhausted at the end of a work day either.

As for me, I have a new job! In February I finally accepted an offer with a start-up company in SF that is doing very well! My new office is amazing with all the great start up perks and it's all complimented by a great team too. Once again I have unlimited PTO which does make dating a LEO much easier. However, since I am still just a few months in I am being a little more conscious of taking time off right now for day trips. However, I did take a two week trip to SoutheastAsia prior to starting my new job. I booked the flight on a Wednesday and took off that Saturday! Kev was so supportive when I came home and told him and I sent him pictures every chance I could.

Aside from that, we just did a snowboarding trip this last weekend to enjoy one of Kev's Saturdays off. We also have a ton of weddings coming up. This can be tough - I'm trying to figure out how we RSVP for a future date when we may not even know his schedule until the month before? For example, we have a wedding out of state in November, and the schedule changes in October. If any of you seasoned LEOs or significant others have any advise, I'm listening :)

Good luck to all of you in the Academy or graduated, and I hope you all are having a wonderful 2017 so far. We keep watching as the classes come and go. How far it feels we have come, and it hasn't even been a full year since Kev graduated last August.

- Mimi

PS: And if you ever have any questions about our life since Kev graduated - schedules, switching shifts with co-workers, coming come to each other after a shift, please ask and I am happy to share what I can!

Here are a few pics from my trip to the Philippines in Feb & our snow trip this month. Try not to forget that life exists outside of work - be great at your careers but remember to cherish the relationships in your life, chase experiences, and rake in as many beautiful memories as you can.

White Sand Beach sunset on Boracay Island

Lounging in Station 2 - Boracay Island

Me at Kawasan Falls - Cebu Island

Kawasan Falls - Cebu Island

Starfish on Aluna beach, Bohol Island

Mojitos at Spider House - Boracay Island

Heavenly, Tahoe with my handsome Chippy

+ many Netflx nights not captured ;)

FTO is Complete! Taking the patrol car out solo for the first time

This last holiday weekend, Kev took the patrol car out on the highway for the first time on his own. I can hardly put into words how happy and accomplished he looked that day, and I'm sure only he can tell you how truly amazing it felt. That day marked a new chapter in his career and our lives together!

It has been an entire year since I started this journey with Kev, but he had been working towards this moment long before I even met him. I asked him the other day, if you knew what you know now and knew how much work it would take to get to today, would you do it all over again? He said absolutely, I love this job.

I wish I could sum it all up, but it has truly been a one of a kind experience. When I started this blog, I was nervous and anticipating the worst. Honestly, the experience has been entirely different than I ever imagined. It has shaped us into stronger individuals and a couple. We both had to support each other along the way, learn what we needed, and adapt together. We developed an inseparable bond in the process.

Kev is more confident than ever now and so proud of what he does everyday. More than anything though, we see law enforcement in a new light. We see how far beyond the individual officer the role touches. Behind every officer is their family and friends who play just as important of a role. Only true friends will stick around when you can't go out on the weekends and family will adjust their schedules to make sure your officer can make it to dinner, a birthday or a special holiday. It takes flexibility, support, love and understanding.

As a girlfriend, the adjustment was hard at times and sometimes still can be. There will always be hard days in life and some of those days you're officer will be working, so you'll have to pull through on your own until they come home. Holidays also aren't a given day off. Kev missed my birthday and Christmas morning this year, but we celebrated on different days instead. We are learning to be flexible. It's hard to change your norm sometimes, but once you're willing to break what you're used to, you quickly realize that it isn't the day that matters, but the people you share it with.

We are so fortunate to officially be a part of the CHP family now and for the many years to come! We have made amazing new friends who have shared this journey with us and continue to be humbled by the small role we play in an amazing organization.

Thank you for reading this blog and following our story! I hope it gave you insight into the making of an officer and their first year. If you or a loved one are about to begin this journey or are currently in the process, I hope it brings you confidence and a little guidance along the way. Never forget that it is your own story though and you carve your own path. You can do anything you put your mind to. And to those of you who may be reading to learn more about law enforcement, I hope it sheds a little light that our officers are human, may be more like you than you know, and all they want is to do their job well and come home to their loved ones after each shift before hurrying off to their next one. Our hats go off to all of the peace officers who dedicate their lives to a career that keeps our communities safe, and their loved ones who act as supporting pillars. Stay safe and thank you for your service.

- Mimi

Wrapping up Phase 4

Kev only has 2 days left of Phase 4 and then he is officially on his own! Sometimes I stop and think about this past year and how hard he/we worked to get to this moment. It has been a year unlike any other in my life.

Life has become more normal lately too. Kev has had the same schedule for a while and is still working days - up at 2:30am, our the door by 3:30am, home by 6pm and in bed by 9:30pm. It's been a little cyclical but it's so nice to spend time with him every night. Sometimes I don't think we really left the Academy life, because we still have this tight grip on time and our time together, even when we have plenty of it.

This weekend Kev will take the patrol car out on his own for the very first time. Words can never explain how proud I am of him. After his last day of training, I'm going to try to surprise him somehow. Maybe a fancy dinner, a card, and a good bottle of wine to celebrate his accomplishment!

What a year!

- Mimi

Phase 4 & The Holiday Schedule

So, Kev finally got his phase 4 schedule. This phase is actually only 4 days long and he will be done by Christmas. He is still working his phase 3 day shift schedule which rolls right into phase 4 over the next couple of weeks. Honestly, it's hard to keep track of the schedule. I really only remember the schedule for whatever week we are in and the important days. Like, Christmas - yep, he is working Christmas and New Years Eve. Thankfully, he was able to select day shift for post FTO though, so we will still be able to have Christmas together that night and do a little something for New Years Eve night.

I can't believe Kev's field training is almost over! The day he takes the car out on his own for the first time is going to be so exciting for him. I know he can't wait. He asked me the other night, "should I give people tickets on Christmas?" I said, "heck yah!" You're a highway patrolman! So, word to the wise - a lot of new officers will be off training this holiday season and are ready with their new ticket books, shiny brass and a whole lot of pride, just waiting for you to speed past them. Follow the speed limits and laws of the road if you don't want to meet Kev or any of his academy friends around the state :)

Happy holidays and cheers to almost being done with training!

- Mimi

Life As A Trainee, A Girlfriend's Perspective

Well, it's December 9th and we still don't know Kev's Schedule for Phase 4, which happens to fall on Christmas and New Years Eve. My fingers are crossed that we get the holidays together. Selfishly and naively, I am praying for both days. Dream big I say, but don't set yourself up to be disappointed. I'm certainly realistic that Kev likely won't have both days off. I really am okay celebrating Christmas any old day, as long as we are together. New Years Eve is always one of those nights it's nice to have your man by your side though, popping a bottle of champagne and sharing a midnight kiss. It won't be quite the same start to the year if I'm just with my girlfriends and Kev isn't there, but I guess ironically it could be the right start to many more years with a peace officer. For now, we will wait and see what cards we are dealt.

Still, life isn't bad. I see Kev a lot right now. He even picks me up everyday after work because our schedules and commutes line up perfectly. The reports he has to write at home have been light too and usually it's just to finish up. There have also only been a few nights that he runs late. Trainees actually can't sign up for overtime until they are off break-in, so usually the couple hours that run over are because he has to finish something up.

As far as the revelations of phase 3, cop-culture is entirely foreign to me. Kev loves it and definitely "drinks the Koolade" as we call it in my SF tech world. I got to see a glimpse of the culture and socialization of the trainees at the holiday party. There is certainly a division of the veterans and new officers. I suppose they have to prove their worth, their intelligence and ability to handle themselves in a situation others have experienced or one day may experience with this now 'rookie' by their side. I suppose that's the key to earning acceptance into such a fraternal organization. Prove your worth and prove you can be tough when your peers are hard on you. Character is everything. It is a very different world for me, and certainly hard to adjust to sometimes. Kev sometimes compares it to playing sports or being in a college fraternity. Until you can prove to the team that you can score a goal, be reliable defense, or be someone they can trust, you won't be accepted. But once you are, you're family. I certainly saw that closeness in the vets and even some of the officers only a few training classes ahead of Kev.

I think this article describes the culture well.
http://www.criminaljusticedegree.com/the-blue-flame-the-socialization-of-a-rookie/

The Academy is only the first step. It's a quick intro to the socialization process - break you down and then build you up with a cheez-it on your shoulder and an aiguillette. You get 10 days to to relax or hit the beach in Cabo like we did and then suddenly your back at the bottom of the totem pole earning your acceptance with an entirely new set of individuals, washing the patrol cars and putting in your time. When the Academy gets tough, remember why you want it. Be strong, stay level headed and remember that good things don't come easy. It's just the beginning of a life doing what you love, something not many people can say they do.

In other news, another baby was born into the family last night and Kev and I have another little nephew this year!

- Mimi

Phase 3 recap - Wrapping up FTO

Kev just picked his schedule for post-FTO and guess what? DAY SHIFTTTT.

Three months of day shift start sometime in January. He was right, looks like the senior officers selected the action packed night shifts first. Fine by Kev and I! The only bad part is that he will be working weekends, both Saturday and Sunday. He just bought his first Tahoe season pass with me this year too! He couldn't come with me when he was in the Academy last season because it wasn't worth the risk that he could possibly get injured and not be able to continue with training. So, I was pretty excited to improve his snowboarding skills this season. With my flexible time off though, we are hoping it shouldn't be a problem getting up there together.

Until then, we are still currently enjoying day shift for phase 3. He has been a little tired at night, but he is home! He wakes up at 2:30am and is usually home by around 6pm. We are in bed by 9:30pm. Kev is a morning person and I am a bit of a night owl, so I can be a little restless but I don't mind adjusting to his schedule. Forcing myself to get extra sleep has been pretty nice and I've felt better too, I've had a lot more energy at the office.

In summary, Kev has had mostly day shifts. We are still waiting to see what he is assigned for phase 4 which will start sometime in the next couple weeks. He hasn't been assigned swing shifts (12-10pm) yet. We have heard those can be tough because it can be a much later night if you catch a drunk driver at the end of your shift. Nights weren't bad other than the fact that our schedules made us miss each other entirely during the week and when he had to work weekends, he would be sleeping during the day when I was home. He did have more energy in the evenings when he was home with me though. With day shift, he is beat and ready for bed pretty early. It's almost humorous, you really can't win, you just have to go along for the ride. Take what you get and make the most of it. It keeps life interesting and makes you be creative. You also appreciate your time together more, even when there is a lot of it! Sometimes it can be exhausting, but it's good to know each shift is only temporary and you have a shot at a better schedule with the next phase. If they are all not ideal, well it can only get better.

Hopefully for those of you reading this has helped close the gap between the Academy, FTO period, and that first time your officer takes the car out on their own. I think I'll likely write up until that day and then wrap up this blog - that will be the whole first year of life entering the CHP. I remember as Kev inched closer to grad day I was so worried about FTO being just as bad as the academy. It is no where close, it's just a lot of constant change that takes time to adjust to. Road trips also consist of hitting every apex on a turn while pointing out to you why they would pull over almost everyone on the road. Enjoy ;)

- Mimi

The day you know will come

There is a specific moment that Kev and I knew would one day come in his career. He used to tell me about the pictures they would show him at the Academy, we made note cards for the codes, and he studied all about it. Nothing is quite like the day itself though. A call unlike the rest, that sadly won't be the last but will be a reminder of how difficult law enforcement can be emotionally for an officer and the ones around them. I saw the news and knew that was Kev's beat. We were celebrating Thanksgiving that night because it was the only night Kev's family, with three sons with careers in service, could all be together. I was getting ready at our house when Kev text me that he would be running late and to go ahead over to his parent's house without him. I didn't ask why, but just said okay and headed over.

We all knew why Kev would be late to Thanksgiving dinner. Kev called when he was heading home and told me what happened. I didn't say much or ask for specifics, all I really wanted to know was that he was okay, emotionally. Kev's younger brother is a paramedic, so after the call I told his sister-in-law what happened. His brother has experienced and seen a lot, so she gave me a little advise about what works for them. Ultimately, she said you know them best and you know when it's been a situation they resonate with - some are harder than others. She suggested not to pry for details, or keep mentioning it, but to ask if they are okay and to let them have their time to make peace with what happened that day and talk to you about it when they are ready. I appreciated her advice and agreed with it. Every relationship is different though, so you should absolutely do what you find works best for you. That first time really isn't something you can prepare for though. It is a very unique and foreign feeling.

It somehow worked out that the turkey needed a little extra time in the oven to finish cooking and it was pulled out shortly before Kev made it in the door. He didn't let the day dampen our dinner together and he was still his spirited self. I had packed a bag for him with a change of clothes since I figured he would be coming straight from work. We walked upstairs when I asked again if he was okay and we had a quick chat. It's hard to explain how he was. He wasn't necessarily full of emotions but more so just describing to me what he saw, almost talking it out in his head. I just listened. He shared a bit with his family too. We had quite the dinner conversation with a cop, a CHP officer, and a paramedic at the table who could each identify with the day.

I still think about what Kev told us. I know I could never stand in his shoes, but being close to someone in law enforcement has heightened my respect for the career and the men and women who swore to protect us. They are truly special individuals. You never know how much goes on around you each day and night, until you hear their stories.

We spent the next few days at his cabin up North. We watched movies, listened to the rain, and celebrated his grandpa's birthday. That night I woke up thinking of my grandma. Right when I finished saying a prayer in my mind, Kev rolled over and said "I love you, you're my family now." I don't know how he knew but it was everything I needed to hear in that moment. He truly is one of a kind and I'm so lucky to call him mine.

- Mimi