There is a specific moment that Kev and I knew would one day come in his career. He used to tell me about the pictures they would show him at the Academy, we made note cards for the codes, and he studied all about it. Nothing is quite like the day itself though. A call unlike the rest, that sadly won't be the last but will be a reminder of how difficult law enforcement can be emotionally for an officer and the ones around them. I saw the news and knew that was Kev's beat. We were celebrating Thanksgiving that night because it was the only night Kev's family, with three sons with careers in service, could all be together. I was getting ready at our house when Kev text me that he would be running late and to go ahead over to his parent's house without him. I didn't ask why, but just said okay and headed over.
We all knew why Kev would be late to Thanksgiving dinner. Kev called when he was heading home and told me what happened. I didn't say much or ask for specifics, all I really wanted to know was that he was okay, emotionally. Kev's younger brother is a paramedic, so after the call I told his sister-in-law what happened. His brother has experienced and seen a lot, so she gave me a little advise about what works for them. Ultimately, she said you know them best and you know when it's been a situation they resonate with - some are harder than others. She suggested not to pry for details, or keep mentioning it, but to ask if they are okay and to let them have their time to make peace with what happened that day and talk to you about it when they are ready. I appreciated her advice and agreed with it. Every relationship is different though, so you should absolutely do what you find works best for you. That first time really isn't something you can prepare for though. It is a very unique and foreign feeling.
It somehow worked out that the turkey needed a little extra time in the oven to finish cooking and it was pulled out shortly before Kev made it in the door. He didn't let the day dampen our dinner together and he was still his spirited self. I had packed a bag for him with a change of clothes since I figured he would be coming straight from work. We walked upstairs when I asked again if he was okay and we had a quick chat. It's hard to explain how he was. He wasn't necessarily full of emotions but more so just describing to me what he saw, almost talking it out in his head. I just listened. He shared a bit with his family too. We had quite the dinner conversation with a cop, a CHP officer, and a paramedic at the table who could each identify with the day.
I still think about what Kev told us. I know I could never stand in his shoes, but being close to someone in law enforcement has heightened my respect for the career and the men and women who swore to protect us. They are truly special individuals. You never know how much goes on around you each day and night, until you hear their stories.
We spent the next few days at his cabin up North. We watched movies, listened to the rain, and celebrated his grandpa's birthday. That night I woke up thinking of my grandma. Right when I finished saying a prayer in my mind, Kev rolled over and said "I love you, you're my family now." I don't know how he knew but it was everything I needed to hear in that moment. He truly is one of a kind and I'm so lucky to call him mine.
- Mimi
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